Tying the knot: a short history of handfasting
“As hands doe shut, so hart be knit”
“The knot of fate at length is tied.”
My Celtic “Nine Knots” design is made up of (you guessed it!) nine knots representing love and eternity, and draws on the mystical significance of the number nine in Celtic tradition. Styled by Ceotha Muirhead at Abercairny House, photographed by Raini Rowell
This post will provide you with a quick tour of the history of handfasting, from its origins through to how present-day couples incorporate it into their wedding ceremonies. As I have said before, handfasting as a tradition is very old – so old in fact that we don’t know exactly when it originated or where it came from. What we DO know is that there are traces of it all over the world. What this means is that there is no linear handfasting tradition with strict ‘dos’ and ‘donts’ to adhere to. Handfasting may have traditions associated with it, but it is a very flexible and accommodating way of expressing your love, and you should feel free to adapt it as you wish to your tastes and circumstances.
Ancient origins?
Handfasting originated in the Celtic British Isles and is often assumed to be pre-Christian, but we have little information about what such ceremonies might have looked like. In contrast, we know quite a lot about handfasting from the Middle Ages onwards. The term came from the Old Norse handfesta, “to strike a bargain by joining hands”, and from the 12th century to the 17th century it referred to a betrothal that was later formalised as marriage.
There is a bit of controversy here, as some argue that betrothals were looked upon as full marriages by those who entered into them, which may well be true! Regardless, they were not taken lightly and, like any marriage, could only be dissolved by death. Central to this idea of marriage was the consent of both parties, which went against earlier marriage practices where the wishes of parents or communities played a greater role.
Though these handfasting ceremonies did not necessarily use cords, the couple held hands as they made their vows, and tokens were exchanged - ribbons, or gimmal rings (depicting entwined hands) with engravings such as “As handes doe shut, so hart be knit.”
The poet John Donne was said to have had a handfasting, as was William Shakespeare.
Another “Nine Knot” handfasting cord, modelled here with rings as love tokens. Styled by Ceotha Muirhead at Abercairny House, photographed by Kate Haag Photography
A year and a day
In the 17th century, handfastings began to be treated as “trial” marriages. The Gaelic scholar Martin Martin described the tradition on the Isle of Skye:
“It was an ancient custom in the Isles that a man take a maid as his wife and keep her for the space of a year without marrying her; and if she pleased him all the while, he married her at the end of the year and legitimatised her children; but if he did not love her, he returned her to her parents.”
Walter Scott later depicted handfasting as a trial marriage in his novel The Monastery (1820), which popularised the practice as romantic and dramatic in the public imagination.
“Knowest thou not that rite, holy man?” said Avenel, in the same tone of derision; “then I will tell thee. We Border-men are more wary than your inland clowns of Fife and Lothian—no jump in the dark for us—no clenching the fetters around our wrists till we know how they will wear with us—we take our wives, like our horses, upon trial. When we are handfasted, as we term it, we are man and wife for a year and day—that space gone by, each may choose another mate, or, at their pleasure, may call the priest to marry them for life—and this we call handfasting.”
In England, handfasting had (along with other forms of ‘clandestine’ marriage) been outlawed in 1754, which led to the practice of couples eloping by crossing the border into Scotland. (Check out my Pinterest board for some darkly romantic Scottish elopement inspiration!).
In Scotland, while the Kirk had refused to recognise handfasting marriages as early as 1575, they continued to be recognised civilly as late as 1939. Handfasting Haugh in the Borders, near Bailliehill, held an annual fair where couples could wed in this manner, which Thomas Pennant described in some detail:
“Among the various customs now obsolete the most curious was that of handfisting, in use about a century past. In the upper part of Eskdale[...] there was an annual fair where multitudes of each sex repaired. The unmarried looked out for mates, made their engagements by joining hands, or by handfisting, went off in pairs, cohabited until the next annual return of the fair, appeared there again and then were at liberty to declare their approbation or dislike of each other. If each party continued constant, the handfisting was renewed for life.”
Feather endings can be added to any cord of your choosing for a simple, stunning touch of natural beauty. Styled by Ceotha Muirhead at Abercairny House, photographed by Kate Haag Photography
Bound to fall in love
In the modern era, from the 1960s onwards, handfasting has been revived as part of Neopagan wedding celebrations. But any couple can have a handfasting ceremony, regardless of their beliefs, and they are especially popular in the context of humanist ceremonies. Handfasting has also become more mainstream. Rock star Jim Morrison held a handfasting with Patricia Kennealy, though it is not clear how seriously both parties took it! Literature and TV have also helped to popularise the practice once more - in Game of Thrones, Robb and Talisa (an ill-fated but very romantic couple!), had their hands bound together as their celebrant declared
In the sight of the Seven, I hereby seal these two souls, binding them as one for eternity. Look upon one another and say the words...
To which they replied in unison:
Father. Smith. Warrior. Mother. Maiden. Crone. Stranger. I am his/hers, and s/he is mine, from this day, until the end of my days.
The series Outlander depicted the 18th century Scottish handfasting of Claire and Jamie as a union that became a passionate bond across time, epitomised by the vow
Ye are Blood of my Blood, and Bone of my Bone.
I give ye my Body, that we Two might be One.
I give ye my Spirit, 'til our Life shall be Done
Today, you can incorporate your handfasting into a church or religious ceremony, a registry wedding, a humanist ceremony, or whatever else you wish - the only limit is your imagination. In any setting, “tying the knot” is the perfect way to express your enduring commitment in the presence of your loved ones.
I hope you have found this post helpful. For further reading about handfasting and the traditions associated with it, you might wish to consult the informative posts at Every Woman Dreams and Medieval Scotland.
If you would like to work with me on designing your own custom handfasting cord to fit perfectly with the mood of your ceremony, please don’t hesitate to get in touch :)
Love,
Ceo